Have you ever watched the tv show ‘Bridezillas'? I absolutely love it. Seemingly ‘normal’ American women (OK so maybe you can see the potential crazy to begin with but I’m not about to call the kettle black) are documented in the weeks leading up to their wedding. They start getting snappy with their husbands, grumpy with the bridesmaids and the show begins to add snippets of obsessive behaviour (one woman had a whole room that she had been storing ‘wedding tidbits’ in for years, like hoarders goes bridal). As the wedding day marches closer the brides get wilder, breaking off the engagement, pulling their sister’s hair and crying over flower displays. I go nuts when I watch it, shouting at whoever’s in the room (or my toy dog Eddie) ‘Don’t go to the bathroom now! She’s about to punch the priest!!’ It’s not a pretty sight.
Then, the other day, I created a spreadsheet.
It seemed like such a logical thing to do. I had to work out some rough timeframes and this way everything would be clearly set out. It took me a couple of hours but it was pretty fun and I thought it came across as relaxed. Most of the events don’t have exact dates, just a designated month. In May and December there’s actually nothing that needs doing. I sent it to all the people involved and asked if there was anything missing. By email, phone calls and face to face viewings, suddenly I got to see it though other people’s eyes. I showed a colleague at work and her paused look was one of awe and fear. ‘So organized’ was a term a lot of people used in the ‘not quite OCD but getting neatly closer’ way. I felt calmed by the fact my dad thought it was totally normal, but then I started thinking about how ‘organized’ he is. The alphabetized CD collection, the total control over family gatherings, his kitchen with it’s carefully designed place for everything. I started getting scared.
Suddenly I’m second guessing everything I do trying to work out if this is ‘Bridezilla’ behaviour. Should I mention this new thing about the wedding to my friend? Does my friend actually want to hear about the wedding at all? Did this friend specifically tell another friend that she hoped I wouldn’t talk to her about the wedding tonight? Damn it she’s not even my friend at all with comments like that!
Meanwhile, a few other people I know have gotten engaged and I’m desperately curious about what they are going through. I want them to be more obsessive than me, moving faster towards that crazy screaming American brides. But none of them are even close. One doesn’t even have a date set for ‘the big day’ other than November and another has decided to just have a small dinner party. Everywhere I turn there are rational, calm Brides who are not boring people with to much information or getting obsessive about what kinds of jars to use for the wedding snow domes.
Brides who are not sitting home on a Saturday night blogging about their wedding.
However, I do also think about how much I love my spreadsheet. It’s so neat and clear and easily updated, I even printed one out and put it on the wall because I’m so proud. I love my in depth crockery candle discussions with my aunt and I love tea cup sourcing brainstorms with my friends. If I wasn’t planning things now, and tried to be someone I’m not, I would probably end up having nightmares about white doves pecking out my eyes or secretly carve ‘I do’ into my leg. I’m a naturally organised person and to pretend I am anything else would be a shame. It would also probably send me hurtling into the same stratosphere as those crazy brides I love to watch. Really everyone has an inner bridezilla and as long as you stay true to yours it will remain tame. Like a fluffy little cute dinosaur baby (Or that’s how I’m imagining mine anyway). Treat it bad and deny its existence and it will shoot up big and tall for everyone to see, burning all of the things you love to cinders. And most importantly of all, it will make some great reality tv viewing. Not that that’s a good thing. I’m just saying.
I love that show.
